Trouble at Urahara's
by Midori Akiko
Summary: Renji and Ichigo rush to Urahara's to save Yoruichi, but does she need help? One-shot, Yuri.


It was unmistakable. The high pitched screams that Ichigo and Renji heard were definitely coming from the Urahara Shop. Without a second to spare, they took off, stepping as fast as they could.

"What is it?" Ichigo called over his shoulder. "It can't be a Hollow; Rukia would've told us."

"I don't know," Renji called back, "but it can't be good. It's lucky we were standing guard at your place. We better hurry."

"Right."

The two Shinigami landed deftly in the lot in front of the Urahara Shop. Renji considered the situation.

"Oi, Urahara took Tessai and the kids to get supplies. That means Yoruichi is alone. Something's not right. She should be able to handle herself. This enemy must be tough," he thought out loud. At that very moment, another loud shriek came from the shop.

"That's her!" Ichigo yelled as he began to unsheathe his Zanpakutou. "I'm going!"

"No!" Renji grabbed him by the scruff of his collar and yanked him down. "Remember, this isn't a hollow. We have no idea what we're getting into! We need to be patient. From what I've heard, Shihouin can at least keep a good fight going."

"Fine," Ichigo said with a growl. "What's your plan?"

"Stealth," Renji replied calmly. "We observe the enemy until we can discern some weaknesses. Meaning we've got to get in there without it noticing us. You got that?"

"Uh huh," Ichigo replied, and was already sliding open the shop door when Renji nodded in acknowledgement.

"Whoooo boy," Renji sighed to himself. He hoped that Ichigo would follow his orders. He was a vice-captain after all. Damned kid was always rushing into things and making rash decisions.

"Eh Renji?" Ichigo asked. "Where is she?"

"Jackass," Renji muttered as he pushed Ichigo aside. Strong as he was, the nitwit still couldn't sense reiatsu. Renji relaxed himself and tried feel the spirit energy pulsing through the building. There was just one minor problem. That bastard Urahara had spirit tempered walls. Renji was now just as lost as Ichigo.

Just as Renji was about to throw out a few obscenities, they heard some familiar screams.

"This way," Renji motioned. "Follow my lead." He assumed that if he was in front, he could at least have some control over Ichigo. They slowly moved through the house, making as little noise as possible. With each sliding door they opened, they noise grew. Something began gnawing at the back of Renji's mind that something wasn't right, but he pushed it aside.

"That's definitely Yoruichi," Ichigo confirmed. They had finally reached the room where she was seemingly trapped. The screams were practically echoing in the hallway. It looked like a perfect battle scene.

"Except well, two things," Renji thought. "One: that doesn't sound like a distress scream, and two: it sounded like there were two voices. Could she be fighting a female?" He looked over to Ichigo. Judging from his battle-ready face, the kid was as sensitive as a brick. If he didn't know better, Renji would've said it sounded like Yoruichi was…no, that can't be right. But he'd never heard of anyone in trouble ever yelling like that. Ever. Renji kneeled to the tatami mat to better see what was going on in the room beyond the door.

Ever so slightly, he slid the door open the tiniest fraction of a centimeter. What he saw beyond the door, there was no way he could've ever been prepared.

There on the bed, on all fours, was Yoruichi…..butt naked. Renji covered his mouth quickly to smother any noise as he scooted himself against the far wall. He swore at that moment his eyes popped out of his skull and his liver was now sitting in his ribcage.

"Holy shit!" was the only coherent thing in his mind. Ichigo, confused at his sudden reaction, knelt down and peered through the doors. In a split second, he too was sitting on the far wall, next to Renji, breathing heavily as his eyes threatened to pop out.

"Did you see that?" Renji whispered.

Ichigo could only nod. "Not the first time."

"Lucky bastard."

They sat there, both trying to catch their breaths without making their presence known. After a few seconds, they again looked at each other, locking eyes for a moment. Suddenly, both sped to the sliver of space granting them a view into the room.

For a short time they grappled, silently fighting for the best seat in the house. After several mean glares, they settled on their positions. Renji with the higher up spot; Ichigo a little lower. They peered in closer.

That was definitely Yoruichi; there was no mistaking it.

"But who the hell is that other person?" Renji thought. "Urahara's not here, and I don't know anybody who looks like that…"

Moans were again coming from the room. Deep moans, elicited only from intense pleasure, were now being yelled by Yoruichi. Renji could hear the noise, but couldn't discern what she was saying. He turned his head and pressed his ear against the opening.

"Ohhhh god, yes," she moaned, "more, please. Come on, oh god, you're so good Soi--"

Renji's eyes show wide open. "Soi?! As in Soi Fon?! As in CAPTAIN Soi Fon?! As in the same Captain Soi Fon that said I would be of better use to Soul Society if I planted myself in the ground and pretended I was a poinsettia?! What the hell is going on?!"

He quickly looked back into the peep opening. There was now doubt, that was her. She was now on top, pinning Yoruichi to the bed as she worked her fingers in and out of her. Soi Fon had Yoruichi's arms above her head, a smile crossed with a scowl across her face. Yoruichi was bucking from the pleasure; her hips came up to better meet Soi Fon's fingers. Yoruichi's moans were getting louder, and even Soi Fon could be heard grunting from her efforts.

Renji managed to tear his eyes away to sneak a glance at Ichigo. The poor kid was blue in the face.

"I know how you feel," Renji thought. "This is fucking incredible." He caught himself staring at Yoruichi. Tight, tanned muscles playing on a slender frame, her dulcet tones screaming pleasure. Fucking beautiful.

"Soi, I'm about to-" but before she could finish, Yoruichi tensed up, calling Soi's name to the ceiling, the pillow, anything that would listen. After several seconds, Yoruichi relaxed and slumped back unto the bed breathing heavily. Renji could see Soi Fon still had her fingers in Yoruichi, playing with her as if she were a cat with a toy.

"Now that's ironic," Renji laughed to himself.

He watched as Yoruichi laid on her back, still taking deep breaths. She sat up, and Renji saw a mischievous grin form. She crawled over to Soi Fon, pushing the captain onto her back. Her golden eyes sparkled as she spoke. Slowly, Yoruichi's hand trailed up Soi Fon't side, making her shiver. Her fingers eventually entwined in her short black hair, Yoruichi twirling her fingers around it. Soi Fon bucked a little as Yoruichi licked her collarbone, gently moving up her neck before nibbling gently on her ear. Renji could just barely make out Yoruichi's whisper.

"My turn."

"Damn, that was hot," he thought. "That kind of shit always makes me-" Renji caught himself in the middle of his thoughts. "Wait, that means I must be…" His right hand shot down to his hakama.

"Goddamnit," he thought. "I'm fucking hard. Shit! Wait, if I'm hard, then…."

He looked down at Ichigo. The boy was still staring through the door, his eyes transfixed on the bed. In the middle of his hakama, a little tent was perched. Renji chuckled to himself, but a small moan caused his face to snap back to the opening.

Yoruichi was now on top, with a carnivorous look on her face. With her hands, she was holding Soi Fon's right leg up, their hips meeting at the spot Yoruichi was grinding against. Soi Fon was laying on the bed, her hands gripping whatever sheets she could find.

"Fuck, I'd be doing that too if that were me," Renji thought. "Getting screwed by Yoruichi must be fucking bliss."

Soi Fon's face was pleasure mixed with pain. Her was mouth clenched and her brow was furrowed, but the sounds coming out of her mouth could only have meant that she liked what was happening. Yoruichi continued her rhythm, pushing against Soi Fon over and over. Her hands still twisting the sheets, Soi Fon's back began to arch, and she threw her head back. She was definitely cumming.

Yoruichi was simply grinning. Sensing the captain was nearing her climax, she quickened her efforts, the bed shaking as a result.

"Ohhh, god! Yoruichi-sama, I'm--" Soi Fon's words were stopped as her orgasm cascaded over her. She arched, nearly coming completely off the bed before collapsing back to the spot where she originally was. Panting heavily, her mouth was soon covered when Yoruichi smothered her with a kiss. Yoruichi's tongue probed in her mouth, eliciting moans from the woman beneath her. Finally, after what seemed like several minutes, they separated, Yoruichi lying on the right side of Soi Fon, her head propped on her elbow.

"So, ready for round two?" She grinned.

"Round 2?!" Renji nearly screamed. "Round 2?! You mean there's more lesbian action to come?!" He fumbled around in his pockets for a camera, anything to help preserve this lucky night. In his haste, he turned to quickly and the hilt of his zanpakutou hit the door with a resounding clank. Renji froze before finally gathering enough courage to chance a glance into the room.

Yoruichi was staring at the tiny slit the two boys were at, a predatorial grin smeared on her face. The scariest thing he'd ever seen, Renji later swore to himself.

"Fuck! Caught!" He cursed his clumsiness.

As soon as he saw Yoruichi begin crawling over Soi Fon toward the door, he was gone. He was flash stepping so fast he had no idea where he was going.

"Just get the hell out of there," was his only thought.

The hell with Ichigo.

This is my first attempt at writing any sort of fanfic, so I'd appreciate some reviews and criticisms. I'm a science major, so all our writing revolves around bland, repetitive sentences. This is my creative outlet. Thanks!


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